Poop happens. This morning in fact. On my dining room rug. And BC. (Before Coffee)

Apparently Eli (the 60-pound inspiration for Mindfulness and Dog Poop, Lessons From a Pit Bull Named Eli, and Not Barking Back) is having some problems adjusting to change. My partner and his wheaten terrier Allie recently moved in with us. Eli and Allie seemed to be adjusting beautifully. They get along great. Allie submits to his playful nibbling. She’s fine with him going first through the door. She doesn’t complain when Eli steps on her face or pushes her out of the way to sniff something gross or pee on a tree. They’re best buds.

But for the last week I’ve been waking up to these wonderful little presents (usually on tiled surfaces, which I appreciate). The first time I was surprised. I couldn’t remember Eli ever doing this. Weird. The second time I was irritated. I yelled “bad” and “no” and a few other things. I led Eli to the scene of the crime and made him look at it. Then more “bad’s” and “no’s.” I basically did all the things that dog trainers say are useless or counterproductive. They’re right. All it did was make me feel guilty for yelling at my dog.

So I worried about it. I went over and over it in my mind trying to think of what might be causing it. I visited websites and talked to people who had dogs. I contemplated baby gates and surveillance cameras. I projected into the future and imagined it getting worse or developing into other issues. I stressed about Eli and Allie’s happiness. Are they OK? Am I a bad parent?

This morning, upon discovering the latest surprise package, I stood in the middle of the kitchen and heard myself utter these words “Eli, this is unacceptable behavior.” I actually said that. To my dog. I had barely gotten the words out when I stopped, looked out the window, and just started laughing. It was as familiar as it was funny.

One of my favorite quotes from Eckhart Tolle is “Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”

I was using all this energy to try to make it go away or make things different than they were. What I needed to do first was accept; allow myself to be in that moment, feel it fully, and work with the situation rather than fighting it. Poop happens. I’m not crazy about the idea of picking up dog poop in my house, but I won’t die from it. It’s quite likely temporary and normal and not some cause for alarm. I’ll learn from the experience and will probably be a better dog owner because of it. Regardless, it’s what’s happening Now.

Acceptance first. Action second. I’m reminded of this quite often in non-dog-poop-related situations as well. Complaining, worry, disappointment, impatience, holding grudges…it’s all about me trying to argue with what is, trying to make it different or make it go away. It’s ego stuff and it causes me to suffer.

The serenity prayer is aptly named. Acceptance doesn’t mean powerlessness; it doesn’t preclude change. I’m not surrendering as much as I am being realistic, present, and awake. This is what’s happening now. Start here.

Eli and Allie may be having some adjustment issues, but they’re really good at living in the moment. I’m getting better at it.